For families who’ve just received a diagnosis for an aging parent, spouse, or a child, the first few days can be overwhelming and disorienting. Take a breath and allow yourself time to process the news before rushing into an action plan.

Why Everything Feels So Heavy Right Now

Part of it is how much comes at you at once. You’re trying to follow medical terms you’ve never heard while still getting dinner on the table, answering work emails, and taking calls from relatives who want updates.

You’ll learn the routine and the vocabulary, just like a new job. Nothing is familiar, so even finding the break room takes effort. Over time you learn your way around, and this works much the same way.

The good news? You don’t need a plan yet. Very few people have one this early. It helps to know where to start, and that you can take this one piece at a time. 

Where to Start: 6 Steps After a New Diagnosis

1. Give Yourself a Little Time

   Unless the care team tells you something is urgent, most big decisions can wait a few days. Take some time to process the information. Let the news settle before you start making calls.

2. Ask the Care Team the Right Questions

   Jot your questions down on paper or on your phone before the next appointment. Some to start with:

   • What does this diagnosis mean for daily life?
   • What should we keep an eye on at home?
   • What happens next, and when do we come back?
   • Who do we call with questions between visits?
   • Is there anything we can take home to read?

   If an answer doesn’t click, ask them to say it another way and bring a second person along when you can, so two people hear the same answers.

3. Get Organized

   Start a binder or a shared online folder for everything related to your loved one’s care, and make sure at least one other person knows where to find it. Good things to include:

   • Insurance cards
   • A current medication list
   • Doctor names and phone numbers
   • Recent test results
4. Check on the Legal Documents

   This doesn’t have to happen this week, but it’s worth doing soon. Find out whether your loved one already has these in place, and add copies to the folder:

   • Power of attorney: lets someone handle financial and legal matters on their behalf
   • Health care proxy: names who can make medical decisions if they can’t
   • Advance directive (or living will): records their wishes for medical care

   If they don’t have these yet, or you’re not sure, an elder law attorney or the hospital social worker can walk you through it. Requirements vary by state, and these documents generally need to be signed while the person can still make their own decisions, which is why it helps to raise the topic sooner rather than later.

5. Take Care of Yourself

   Don’t forget to look after your own needs. Eat well, drink lots of water, and get plenty of rest. Join a support group and look into respite care options if necessary.

6. Build Your Support Circle Early (Family, Friends, Professional Support)

   Lean on other family members or friends. Most people want to help but don’t know how, so a specific ask usually goes further than “let me know if you need anything.” Spreading things out now can keep one person from taking it all on and trying to do it alone.

Need a little extra support? 

Careforth works alongside family caregivers caring for a loved one at home. That means a care team that listens, practical ideas, and connection to local resources that can help you avoid burnout. Careforth offers caregiver support in states nationwide through Medicaid and health plans. Visit the Caregiver Support page on our site or contact us to learn more.

Frequently Asked Questions